I don’t believe in The Law of Attraction.  


Stop trying to attract things, and start creating the life you want. 

That’s me, hard at work last week.  

Yes, I’m at the Hotel Monaco in Portland with a beloved VIP coaching client. Yes, I’m swigging from an $8 Fred bottle of water.  Yes, I am sprawled on the bed just listening, while two insanely brilliant women have a conversation that is beyond delightful.

Tough gig, eh?

Here is the thing.  I did not manifest this.  I did not attract it.  I created it.

I’m going to commit self-help heresy today, because heck it’s Friday and I feel like pissing some people off.  (Just kidding!  I’m talking about this because I think it’s really fucking important.)

I don’t believe in The Law of Attraction. 

And while I’m at it, I’ll come right out and say that I think that The Secret is a cynical, manipulative, shallow vial of snake oil.  Not to put too fine a point on it.

I have never yet ‘manifested’ a check in the mail.  I have never yet ‘attracted’ a job.  I know some of you have, and I think that’s really cool.  Seriously.  If I could do that, I would totally be all over it.

But that isn’t how it is for me.

For a long time, I thought that some people were just lucky.  It seemed SO unfair.

I have now become one of those lucky people.  My coaching work is insanely, unbelievably beautiful and blissful.  Because of this, sometimes I get emails from people who are angry because they think I have no idea how hard it is for them.  They think it’s easy for me to talk about making your life beautiful and blah-blah-blah, since clearly I am just lucky.

(Actually, wait, but first I want to be sure you know that in spite of what I’m about to say, I totallyhave people that I still think are stupid lucky!  I am jealous of people who have nice houses.  I can get really self-pitying when I see people in healthy, loving romantic relationships.  I think horrible mean thoughts about people who actually like to exercise.  This is just part of being human, okay?  No judgment.  Just the truth.)

Here’s how lucky I am: at one point I was so broke that I cleaned toilets.  By age 24, I had destroyed my career chances and was in a dead-end job only slighter better than ye cleaning of ye olde toilets.  By age 27, I had run up credit card debt that scared me so bad that I didn’t open the bills.  (In case you’re wondering, this is a TERRIBLE IDEA and will cause you much grief.  It’s always better to open those envelopes.)  My brain doesn’t work like most people’s brains, and the paperwork and spreadsheets involved in being an adult can reduce me to tears.

But right now I live a life that is so dreamy, I honestly look around and my eyes prickle with gratitude.  This might sound like bragging, or arrogance, but I am telling you this because this truly feels like a miracle to me.  I spent so many years so sad, so desperate, so panicked and unhappy that I thought almost all the time about dying.  And now my life is beautiful.  This is fucking amazing!  It is statistically improbable!  I am so grateful!

But also?  I am proud.

Did I have magical spiritual help?  YES.  Do I believe that the universe is a benevolent being turning itself out trying to love us?  OH HELL YES.  Do our thoughts, beliefs, and energy affect the results we get?  Incontrovertibly.  Have I had chances, opportunities, and privileges that are unthinkable for many women in the world?  Absolutely.

But you know what?

I didn’t manifest this life.  I didn’t attract it.

I created it.

This is incredibly, incredibly good news.

I know some of you are trying really hard to change your life with the power of your thoughts.  You’re praying for wisdom and guidance.  You’re doing your damnedest to ‘release attachment’ so you can have the thing that you really do, in fact, desperately want.

That hasn’t worked for me.  Here’s what has:

Creation through action.

I am not talking about frenzied frantic panicked action.  And I am not talking about grinding, painful, endless toil.  (Though to be honest, there might be some of that.)

I am talking about the grace that comes with movement.  The magic that is in motion.  The power of shifting our trajectory, even by the tiniest bit.  

The little things you do, they matter.

So today, do a tiny tiny tiny thing that makes your life a little bit more like one that you want to live.  

Paint your toenails red.

Make your bed.

Take a walk and breathe into your feet.

Answer that email that’s bugging you.

Take 3 minutes and look at the flowers.

Do a sun salutation.

Make that scary phone call.

If you’re in the Queen Sweep Master Class, open up this week’s broom.

It’s not enough to think about it; you have to actually do it with that beautiful physical body of yours. 

These tiny things, they are not trivial.  This is how you build muscle so that you can create the bigger things, like a home, career, and community that you love.

Do it.  Move.  Create.  Take a tiny, tiny action.  And watch your world begin to take shape around you.

And tell me on Facebook what you did.  I will do ALL the happy dances for you.

much love, 


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Hey there, I'm Katherine.

 I’ve got five kids, I’m a queer feminist, and I just might be the only life coach in the world who doesn’t believe in the Law of Attraction.

I write things for women with big, gorgeous, COMPLICATED lives.

I help women become epic fucking badasses… but I still retain my right to cry at every diaper commercial ever made.


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