Last week we talked about why embracing a little bit of the ‘bad’ in you can be good, and here we are at my house last night showing off the Ice Queen and Warrior Queen in us.

(That’s Toothiana, the Warrior Tooth Fairy, next to me.  Dude.  I’m feeling pretty darn proud of myself for gluing all those feathers.)

It’s so fun to let these different elements of ourselves out to play one night a year, but there’s actually a profound dynamic here that’s at work every single day of our lives.

Let me tell you a little story.  In a session a few weeks ago, one of my clients was having a deep ponder about how she takes care of herself in her life.  She was seeing an image of herself at the beach.

“It’s like part of me is always dancing at the water’s edge, and drops are flying and the light is shimmering and I’m laughing.  That’s who I am most of the time in the world– playful, funny, witty.  But there’s another part of me, too, that not everyone sees.  She’s the steady one, the one who is up on the sand, gathering wood, building a fire, keeping watch.  They’re both part of me, and they need each other.”

What a brilliant image–and so true.  We’re all multi-faceted, and we need all those aspects of ourselves to have access to our true power and potential.

To use my client’s metaphor, she realized that the self in the water is going to grow mighty cold without a fire, and the self carrying firewood is going to feel mighty unappreciated if she stays in the background the whole time.

When we acknowledge and honor different aspects of ourselves, we can receive the gifts they have for us.  They become powerful allies.

But when we try to hide parts of ourselves, we cut off some of our own power.  We create a conflict within ourselves, and it fragments us.  We feel weak and we’re not sure why.  We find ourselves sabotaging ourselves.  We feel out of whack, and strangely lonely.

The good news is, all it takes is your own compassion and awareness to bring yourself back into alignment.  All you have to do is throw a little party, or call a board meeting, inside yourself.  Let me explain.

The women in Practical Magic for Secret Mystics are deliberately entering into the process of getting to know and strengthen themselves.  In week 5, we’ll use the metaphor of the cauldron to symbolize stirring in all the various aspects of ourselves.  We’ll deliberately welcome all the selves inside us– all those fascinating characters that are different aspects of a rich, healthy personality– to a metaphorical banquet table.

I think of this as being rather like calling a board meeting, and I do it on a regular basis, usually in my journal.  Lots of interesting characters show up: shy young parts of me, the wise old crone who’s already practicing her cackle, fierce selves and scared selves and dreamy selves.

For much of my life I believed that most of those parts of me were wrong, flawed, embarrassing.

I tried to hide away big  big parts of me in a spare bedroom or dusty broom closet.  I wished they would just go away.  

Guess what happened?  They didn’t go away– they just got really mad.  And sad.

Welcoming those parts of myself back to me has been one of the most profoundly transformative parts of my own journey.

It turns out these parts of me– the very ones I found so appalling!– are profoundly loyal energies.  And they are mine to call on.

That little girl who still gets scared?  The one I was so ashamed of?  She’s a genius at sniffing out untrustworthy people.

That bitchy warrior?  The one I tried to squelch?  She makes sure I know how to be fierce when fierce is called for.

That dreamy, airheady self who is perpetually distracted?  The one I still get mad at because she forgets appointments and is always late? She’s got all the best ideas.

I think of them as the Council, my advisory board.  They have useful things to say, and the more I take into consideration all their different opinions, the more steady and grounded and powerful I feel.

You might try it.  You can write down the conversation they’d have in a journal, or you can just picture the selves in your imagination.  Who needs a seat at the table?  Write out an invitation. Pull out a chair.  Welcome them to the great feast.

Much love, and happy autumn to you and all your selves.