The Future is #FeministAF
Writing & Coaching for highly ambitious + secretly tender women
A weekly story to make you strong, fierce, tender. They’ll make you laugh, maybe cry, and get you moving. In your inbox every Saturday morning.
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Living an extraordinary life? You need extraordinary support. When things are big and challenging and intense and complicated, I’ll be a fierce and tender ally in your corner.
Declare Dominion over your home, your energetic boundaries, your money, your trajectory– tools and strategies to make you stronger.
I’m an expert at empowering women to be the fiercest, bravest, truest versions of themselves.
I’ve helped them navigate promotions, negotiations, legal drama, dream jobs, nightmare jobs, book deals, sickness, divorce, parenting, betrayal, PR whirlwinds, and just plain messy beautiful life.
I believe that life is complicated for all of us, but we can make it gorgeous anyway.
I’m a queer feminist, mother of five, and heathen mystic.
If you’re too smart for most of the self-help aisle but you’re also what Anne Shirley would call a “kindred spirit,” you’re in the right place.
If you want a beautiful life, you have to be fierce about it.
From the Blog
Where do I start? So much has happened. Like so many of you, we’re navigating big changes.
If you’re new here (hi!!!), here’s a little background. Five years ago, I was a happy solo mom of one kid living in Portland, Oregon, when I unexpectedly fell in love with my best friend in Canada. Things were messy, since this friend was married, and happened to be the mom of four kids. We made big tectonic shifts in our lives, as you do when true love shakes you by the scruff of your neck, and a couple of years later lo and behold we were married, coparenting our five kids together, squeezing all 7 of us into a minivan, and living in a suburban town in Canada. To make things even more interesting, during our courtship my beloved realized that though he’d been assigned female at birth and had given birth to four kids, he’d always known deep down that his true identity was male. But he’d wisely squashed that truth down right proper in order to survive, well, our world. So THEN, in his thirties, with an immense amount of courage, he transitioned, came out to the world as a transgender man, and we carried on with our lives.
Then this past year, we made a really raw, vulnerable, intimate documentary about it. —>>> You can watch it right here. 🎥🎥🎥
For years now, I have shared my heart with you kindred spirits in these weekly missives. And Nick and I have both been very open on the internet about many aspects of our lives. But sharing this film with the world is a whole new level of vulnerability.
(I mean, have you SEEN my hair in the weeks after Nick’s surgery?!?!? It’s like an evolving metaphor for how hard things were getting, tangling and snarling as I staggered along, just putting one foot in front of the other, navigating big changes and big challenges.)
When we shared the film online this week, we were braced for some hateful reactions, because that’s simply part of being queer and transgender in our world today.
But actually what’s happened instead is that we have been LIFTED AND CARRIED by this immense ocean of love and support coming from you all and from the beautiful people you’ve shared our story with.
And this extraordinary thing happened:
So THANK YOU. Oh mah gyah. If you think I’m cool and unfussed about this, I’m actually howling inside with glee and– there’s no elegant way to put this– vindication. (Oh the stories, friends. The stories I will tell you one day.)
But you know what’s even more amazing than winning an award????
We’ve had 7,000 views on our video and not one hateful comment. Do you know what a miracle that is?
YOU ALL ARE A MIRACLE TO US.
Enjoy camping with kids?!? Who am I and what is happening? Dearhearts, I'm baaaaack!!!! I've been offline for over a week, on the road with our kids on our annual pilgrimage to the pacific northwest. We logged 30 hours in the car (have mercy), spent time with beloved...
Sometimes I am really pretty BAD at life. Sometimes I'm quite good at parts, but other times? Total shitshow. It's important to talk about this, because mostly we only see things that look PERFECT. Perfectly toned, perfectly styled, perfectly lit, perfectly...
I had an odd entry into summer this year. All around me I saw photos of glamorous beach trips, gorgeous parties, homey barbeques and picnics, frolics and fun and frivolity. Usually I enter into this season in a kind of fevered glee, trying to squeeze every bit of...
Today I want to tell you a story about when I was a kid. If you're new here you might not know that I spent most of my childhood growing up in Japan, because my beloved parents were Christian missionaries for several decades. They are still the most devout and loving...
I was on the phone with a beloved client this week and she was doing that thing that ALL MY CLIENTS do. “I’m just so exhausted." Goodness knows I believed her. I could hear it in the dull hollowness in her voice, and besides she had just told me about the heavy...
The dinner party brimmed with champagne and chatter. But I was plastered to yet another tale of heartbreak. My colleague poured out her stories of betrayal and trauma—and I sucked them down loyally. After a bit, she found that she felt much better--miraculously...
Listen. Your joy matters. It is a potent force for good in this world. Yes, even when it feels like it's all falling apart. Yes, even when the political situation is descending into frightening fascism. Yes, even when there are so many important things to be angry...
Earlier this week I was writing my morning pages, which I do more mornings than not, and I wrote something that surprised me. I'll tell you what it was in a minute, but first I need to explain why it surprised me. Usually, see, my morning pages (which I began doing...
Hi! That's me and my beloved husband up there; Krista Welch took that photo when we were speaking in Marfa a while back. Today's topic is personal AND political AND practical. See, we are merrily sweeping away in the Queen Sweep, and it’s brought up a marvelous...