Hi, I’m Katherine North.
Here’s my official bio.
Katherine North became a life coach because she realized that she’d always had “tell me your secrets” tattooed on her forehead in invisible ink anyway and hell, maybe it was time to go pro. Her clients are ambitious, successful, and too smart for most of the self-help aisle– but they secretly yearn for terribly mortifying things. Things like more magic, more peace, and more grit (oh god). She helps them be bigger and braver than they ever thought they’d need to be…sometimes bigger and braver than they wish they HAD to be. She calls this “Declaring Dominion” and she recently did exactly that by changing her name to Katherine North at age 42 just because she wanted to. (Is that allowed?!? It is!!!) She’s a queer feminist, mother of five, and she grew up as a missionary kid but now she’s a foul-mouthed heathen mystic. She also might be the only life coach in the world who doesn’t believe in the law of attraction. More than 3,000 women have used her Queen Sweep program to clear their lives of clutter, she teaches sensitive empaths to set energetic boundaries in Practical Magic for Secret Mystics, and she helps kindred spirits become epic f*cking badasses in her EFBA programs. She and her husband, Nick North, recently won a grant to make a documentary about their marriage and their big queer family. Shouldn’t be squirmy at all.
Here’s the real scoop.
I spend my days talking to people about the most intense, wonderful, and terrible parts of their lives, and when we’re done talking they almost always feel better.
This is commonly known as life coaching.
My clients report profanity but also a strange kind of magic. However!
I don’t believe in affirmations, the law of attraction, or manifesting.
In fact, here’s a secret: I find most of the self-help world unbearably shallow and stupid.
I do believe in magic though– deep magic.
Your capacity for transformation.
The fierce wisdom of your body.
The accuracy of your spidey senses.
Your ability to heal.
My secret mission is a global takeover by the wise women.
To that end, I’ve spent the last few years of my life making things to help you be fierce enough to transform the world with your spirit and leadership.
Feeling overwhelmed? Grab this free list of 5 quick things that will help.
Need to be stronger for your life? Start by shifting your language.
Are you so sensitive that everything feels awful right now? This one’s for you.
A few things about me you should know:
I love my high heels.
My favorite champagne is Veuve Clicquot.
I cry at diaper commercials.
I like to swear a LOT. It’s basically my religion. Swearing, and flowers. Oh and motherhood. And the ocean. And beautiful shoes. And a clean house. And flowers on my table and book club and orgasms and budgets and and and— well. It’s sort of a Renaissance religion.
I secretly want to dance naked under the moon with wolves, but the opportunity has yet to present itself.
I am the world’s worst cook. I’m a bit of a food snob but I hate the part where you’re supposed to actually MAKE it with your BARE HANDS. And then you have to just DO IT AGAIN THE NEXT DAY. So Sisyphean. I have done horrible, unspeakable things to a perfectly good head of broccoli, so if I ask you over for dinner, make sure we’re having frozen pizza. And then stand there and make sure I don’t burn it.
I remember my past lives. Lots of them. But I will still TOTALLY mock you for carrying around crystals. I might be the only life coach on the planet who doesn’t believe in the Law of Attraction.
Before I trained with Dr. Martha Beck as a master life coach, I was a voice-over artist in Tokyo. I moonlighted as a branding consultant on the side. After the 2011 earthquake, I picked up a suitcase and my daughter and moved to Portland on the double. I was a happy solo mom there for five years, then to my own utter shock, I fell madly in love. (But I didn’t even BELIEVE in true love!) So THEN I ended up moving to the suburbs of Calgary, Alberta, in Canada, of all places.
I am wildly in love with my amazing husband, who used to be a woman. If queer and transgender people make you queasy, I’m not the coach for you, dearheart.
Together we have five kids, a dog, two snakes, and a minivan. Life is over-the-top chaotic sometimes, but it’s also full of joy and hilarity. I tell you what, going from solo-mom-of-one-in-a-green-city to married-mom-of-five-in-the-prairie-suburbs is a GREAT way to put your own life coaching skills to use. I’m walking my talk, growing bigger than I ever thought I could every damn day just like my clients and readers are.
I detest all forms of exercise. I think reading should count. If you want to bore me to rage, please bring up sports.
I was an English major, and I know all the grammar rules…I just choose to ignore them.
I was exceedingly unhappy for a really long time. I came close to ending my life in my twenties. But I’ve been really fucking full of joy for nearly a decade now, and I don’t take this lightly. I feel like I have a sacred obligation to help other people who are having a hard time find their way to joy too. I can’t think of anything else I’d rather do, except maybe write books. (I’m working on a memoir about my childhood growing up in Japan and how I went from being an evangelical missionary kid to being a foul-mouthed heathen mystic.)
I am an ADD INFP Quick-Start Fact-Finder right-brain dreamer. I walk into rooms and can’t remember why I’m there. I like to start things but finishing them is much harder. When I was a consultant, I would forget every statistic and bit of client data but I could read the room and decipher the subtext like a motherfucker.
I will probably forget your boss’s name and the ages of your kids.
But I’ll never forget your story.
And your secrets are safe with me.