Your pleasure is a powerful energy in this world.

You have the ability to experience bliss, joy, comfort, release, and transcendence….all by yourself. No flowers, no diamonds, no mountains, no shoes. Just you and your magical physical self.

Your pleasure is one of the greatest treasures in your keeping. So manage it well, dear ones. And yes, I am talking about having orgasms. Go have some. It’s your job.

I’m so serious about this; if you have a clit and you’re not taking advantage of those bazillion nerve endings, it’s like dumping perfectly aged bottles of champagne down onto the ground. All that glorious joy, wasted.

It’s your job to do whatever you need to do to have orgasms. Talk to your partner; you could look into things like penis rings for men for better and easier orgasms. Read a book or buy a vibrator. Take very special showers. Google sex scenes from Scandal. Watch Blue Is The Warmest Color. (You’re welcome.) Do research online to help out. Browse sex toy sites like lovegasm. Don’t tell me you can’t because you’re single– I was exceedingly single the last four years, and I had a very hot sex life with myself. If you can’t physically orgasm, find a sex therapist who can help you. I promise you don’t want to miss out on this fantastic part of your human birthright. And it’s up to you to learn how to get the most out of it.

Yeah, I know, I know– you don’t have time, you have to clean toilets, you don’t feel sexy, you have no privacy… I know. I know. Too bad. Do it anyway.

There is suffering in the world; there is pain; there is sorrow. You will have your share. In fact, you probably already have. But we also have these beautiful bodies; doesn’t it seem like a shame to waste them?

I believe that when you experience joy, you have created an energy that didn’t exist before. The more joy you send out into the world, the more there is for all of us. The same with compassion, and healing, and love. You create a little frisson, a vibration if you will, that has power and potential. If there are empaths in the world who can feel other peoples’ suffering (and there are! hi, nice to meet you) then it stands to reason that we can feel each other’s joy, too.

So let’s get fierce about tending to our own bliss.

This doesn’t mean you should never feel sad, or grieve– of course not– those are powerful and transformative parts of the human experience, and they grow us and deepen us in important ways.

But I believe we need to be deliberate about creating moments of joy and bliss in our lives. It’s one of our basic human responsibilities…because we CAN.

This might all seem very self-indulgent and self-centered, but I want you to think about the happiest person you know. Think about someone who radiates true joy and delight and laughs with her head thrown back. Think about how you feel when you’re around this person. (If you don’t know any happy adults, think about a baby. They’re little joy fountains. Everyone wants to be around them, and we all feel fantastic in their presence.)

Now think about the saddest person you know.

Who does more good for the world?

There are times when we need to fight; to be brave; to rage; to breathe fire. There are times when we need to weep; to grieve; to howl. We can hold space for people who are in that crucible. And we can strengthen our EFBA muscles for our own crucibles– so that we are ready, so that we are strong, so that we can walk through those tough emotions and come through.

But the rest of the time? I kind of think that our biggest job is to deliberately cultivate as much joy in our lives as we can. Let’s grow THOSE muscles.

Let’s start with your clitoris.

And by all means, report back. I will be delighted.

much love,


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