I am cranky.
To be exact, everything is bugging the SHIT out of me right now.
This is embarrassing because
a) I’m supposed to be a master life coach oh wait I AM a master life coach, and
b) my life is so, so good right now.
I’m all “Oh my life is so full of love and joy and gifts and I am brimming with gratitude and DO NOT PUT ME ON HOLD OR I WILL CUT YOU.”
“Look at the sweet children dancing and singing, puppies and unicorns are coming out my eyes oh wait it’s over and OH THE SHRIEKING, THE SHRIEKING, DEAR GOD MAKE IT STOP.”
I’m blaming it on the Grand Cross, because as my brilliant friend Lauren Russo says, “I love astrology because I don’t understand it really but it always makes me feel like there is some grand design behind my feelings of snafu-ness.”
If you don’t know what the Grand Cross is, it’s when four planets get all gangsta on each other and they have a faceoff, and we puny humans get caught in the crossfire.
Okay, so maybe you don’t believe in astrology. (I’m not sure about astrology, but hippogriffs and phoenixes, definitely.)
Here’s an alternate theory:
Maybe certain parts of our lives are rubbing up against us to get our attention.
The things that are bugging you are important clues about what it is you DO want. Let me illustrate.
Things That Are Irritating The Shit Out Of Me Right Now:
- the ants in my living room
- passive-aggressive, murky, manipulative (I never said this was an objective list) communications
- how we are almost late to everything and it’s definitely my 7-year-old’s fault
I could go on.
But if we dig a little deeper….
- The thing is, I don’t really mind ants. I even respect them. But having them march across my threshold makes me feel invaded, and vaguely sticky.
Ohhh, what I really want is a sense of safety, and quiet, and peace.
- The communications that are bugging me…
Ohhh, what I really crave is honesty. Transparency. Because that’s how I feel safe; that’s how I know I can trust.
- And the lateness…because POSSIBLY it’s not really the 7-year-old’s fault…
Ohhhhh, we are over-scheduled right now. There are so many fun and good and lovely things happening, but it’s like displaying 17 beautiful candelabras on a mantelpiece: the overall effect is crowded and messy.
We need some white space, down time, quiet.
So it turns out that what I am really craving, what all those embarrassing, unenlightened, grouchy emotions are showing me, have a common theme: a sense of peace, of simple okayness.
All the muchness is throwing things out of kilter. We need a return to basics, good routines, clear communications, solitude and quiet.
Well that’s easy.
(At least compared to blowing up my whole life. When I’m trying NOT to be grouchy, the conclusion I draw is that clearly my only option is to firembomb the ants, become a hermit and move to a cave, and retire from parenthood. Excellent plans, obviously. I’ll save them for a rainy day.)
So if you too are feeling gritchy, cranky, and Irritated By Everything, you could
a) Blame it on the Grand Cross!!! Because….science.
b) Flip the things that are bugging you and see what you’re truly longing for.
c) Take three advil, waft some sage, and call me in the morning.
I recommend option B.
I’m off to grab some literal white space…I’m heading off to snow country this evening for a brief respite. I intend to be much less grouchy next Friday.
I’ll see you in the sky, sweet pea. You, me, and all the constellations.